Why Pride Matters - Part 2

In my last post, I closed out by talking about my mom’s perspective change about my identity and how good intentions can get muddled in the expression. I think it’s important to revisit that idea as we look at the present and future of LGBTQIA2S+ rights, not just to affirm our queer friends, family, and coworkers, but also to show up as an ally and active member in our collective struggle.

The Fight For Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Rights

Being an authentic ally relies on acknowledging your own bias and privilege, and it’s undeniable that things have changed since I first came out in the 70s. As a white, gay, cisgender man, I sit in a place of privilege. I have a great job, a wonderful husband, and have ready access to my necessary healthcare. Despite homophobia still being a problem around the world, Americans largely accept homosexuality nowadays and the impact of my gayness isn’t felt the same as it was in the past. I have a seat at the table, and as Marquita Thomas so aptly put it, “When you have reached a seat at the table and there are other people who are not there, you have not attained equity, you have privilege.”

Now, if we are to really look at the current moment, the new frontline consists of transgender and gender nonconforming rights. Attacks on these rights range from the outright discrimination of former President Trump’s military ban to restricting healthcare access for transgender employees. These setbacks don’t specifically impact the gay and lesbian community, which is why it underlines the importance of Pride and of vocal support for all intersections of this struggle. As a cis gay man, I won’t fully understand the struggles of gender nonconforming people, but I can relate. All these identities outside of the heterobinary deserve the same rights that I have and if we who have a seat at the table don’t create the space and advocate on behalf of equity for all, then we don’t deserve our seat.

What Is Gender Affirming Care?

Across the country, lawmakers are seeking to ban healthcare for transgender patients. These treatments, under the umbrella term of gender affirming care, include a range of social, psychological, behavioral, and medical interventions meant to affirm individuals’ gender identities. And despite evidence that suggests this care improves the overall well-being of transgender people, right-wing backlash frames these procedures as dangerous. I can’t help but recall the ostracization that I felt in the wake of the AIDS epidemic, where a vulnerable group was further vilified and then turned into a political bargaining chip.

For children in particular, the timing of these bans is deeply felt. Interventions for people under 18 are based on several factors, including cognitive and physical development as well as parental consent. This kind of medical and social care has been critical to the physical and mental health of LGBTQIA2S+ youth, but they’re often kept out of the conversation and at the mercy of adult lawmakers’ decisions. It’s times like these where I think back to my first Pride and recognize how important it was to see older queers leading the charge for my rights. Progress is being made, but it’s up to us to continue the fight for the future of LGBTQIA2S+ rights in public, private, and professional spheres.

Creating A Safe Work Environment For LGBTQIA2S+ Employees

In 2018, the Human Rights Campaign issued a blockbuster report titled A Workplace Divided. Among the many startling findings, a few immediately jump out: 

·  45% of LGBTQIA2S+ workers said they’re closeted at work.

·  1-in-5 reported being told to dress in a more masculine or feminine manner by coworkers.

·  53% said they heard jokes about lesbian or gay people “at least once in a while.”

·  31% said they have felt unhappy or depressed at work. 

These facts all build to the starkest reality for most LGBTQIA2S+ workers: the number one reason for not reporting negative comments to a supervisor or human resources was because LGBTQIA2S+ workers “don’t think anything would be done about it—and they don’t want to hurt their relationships with coworkers.”

So, how can your organization create an environment where workers across the queer spectrum feel safe to be themselves? There are a few immediate steps you can take on a personal level, including updating your LinkedIn and business cards with your pronouns and educating yourself on topics you don’t understand. If you’re looking for a place to start, my friend Brian McComak at Hummingbird Humanity has compiled a list of wide-ranging LGBTQIA2S+ resources. Also turn to queer-affirming organizations like the Human Rights Campaign and The Trevor Project, who have a treasure trove of resources for you to explore. And don’t forget to connect with your local Community Center, who provide essential services for people in your area and can offer resources to you and your organization.

These personal steps are fundamental to addressing systemic inequity and can help build trust in your community, but you have to put your focus on organizational inequities as well. Look into who your company is giving money to, from charities to politicians, and see what their stance is on LGBTQIA2S+ issues. Changing your logo to a rainbow flag doesn’t make a difference for your employees if you contribute to anti-queer politicians and causes; making a safe work environment on an organization-wide level requires intentional and mindful action that reflect those values. I am happy to come work with you directly to address LGBTQIA2S+ inclusivity at your organization, but there are two immediate steps that companies can take to begin this process.

First and foremost, every organization needs to analyze internal biases and how they affect company decisions. Is there an assumption that straight is the default? Do supervisors have assumptions about how LGBTQIA2S+ people should behave or dress? These biases are often expressed in how you approach projects, communicate, or make choices that affect your team. By acknowledging that these biases exist, you can better address them directly and make the decisions that build an environment you want to create. It’s possible to combat bias by developing friendships and working relationships with people who have different sexual orientations and gender identities than you, which will help you better challenge your internal biases by better understanding the joys and struggles that come with a particular identity.

The second immediate action is to establish or revisit your company’s nondiscrimination policy. Make sure that it includes sexual orientation and gender identity are protected statuses and be specific in how you expect employees and management to treat each other. An anonymous complaint system is also a good idea, as it reduces the pressure placed on LGBTQIA2S+ workers who may not feel comfortable speaking publicly about their experiences. All of these are meant to push for transparency at an organizational level rather than putting the onus on a vulnerable group, which means communicating to the workforce when incidents happen and what steps are being taken. After all, a transparent environment is a safer one.

It's amazing to consider how far we’ve come in my lifetime and how far we still have to go. I can remember how, when I was a college senior in the early 80s, I was so worried about being outed that I never attended a gay student union meeting, for fear of being bullied, shamed, and ostracized. I used to hide in the bushes outside and watch who was coming in and out, just to know that I wasn’t alone. 40 years later, I would visit my campus hand-in-hand with my husband, a rainbow flag proudly flying outside the building where the meetings were held. I’ve come a long way in my “coming out” process, but there are still many in the closet today. There are still many places where LGBTQIA2S+ people risk jail or even death for outwardly living their lives. As a people, we must continue to fight for equity so that every person is able to say “this is who I am”—not out of fear or regret, but from a place of pride.

I would be happy to come speak to your organization about Pride and creating a more inclusive work culture. Contact me today to learn more.